her vagine was all disorganized.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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