Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
