oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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