He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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