it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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