That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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