I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
