Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
