I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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