Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
