Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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