HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize