Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
