he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
