hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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