Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
