Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
