Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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