Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
