Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
