when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
