He had one of those small greek statue penises
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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