Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Im part way to drunk.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
