I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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