I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
