so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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