New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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