Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
