glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize