I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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