So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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