How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you didnt know i had herpes?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
