i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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