Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
