your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
