You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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