I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
