I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
