I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
