"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize