last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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