We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
