Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
