I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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