the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
