the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
