so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This house was built for laser tag.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
