so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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