apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
