I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
