therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
