Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
