I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All the doctor said was why
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
